#loopchat WordPress quotes collection part 1

whatever

Today I went through the starred messages in #loopchat and thought I’d share them with you. Some are simply hilarious.

PHP is a language for real men, robots and Chuck Norris.

– Adam “userabuser” Coslovich

if ( current_user_can( 'understand_core' ) )

– “birgire”

changing admin menu? the process starts with weeping so that your tears make code wet and less rigid…

– Andrey “Rarst” Savchenko

If a code updates in the forest, and no one is around to hear it — does it make a noise?

– Gustave F. “GhoastToast” Gerhardt

Where can I get WordPress crack or keygen?

– Ruda Almeida

Our support team wears Iron Man costumes for improved security.

– Thomas “toscho” Scholz

codex is right! in confusing way

– Andrey “Rarst” Savchenko

WordPress is not a relationship, it’s a trap

– Andrey “Rarst” Savchenko

my flat is no WordPress, I tend to throw things out

– Andrey “Rarst” Savchenko

code isn’t poetry, it’s information processing, if you think it’s poetry you’re a tit. – new wp motto.

– Robert “Wyck” Ellison

it’s a rule of worst snippet. worst of your code is most likely to go viral.

– Andrey “Rarst” Savchenko

this drives me matt.

– Kai “ungestaltbar” Jacobsen

whocommerce.

– Adam “userabuser” Coslovich

well, a function that hooks would be a hooker.

– Nic Bertino

‘the_content’ pays my bills.

– Kai “ungestaltbar” Jacobsen

unfinished is the new finished

– Adam “userabuser” Coslovich

Australian version of var_dump() == have_a_beer_then_take_a_dump()

– Adam “userabuser” Coslovich

You could make each password unique with a check when a new one is created: “Sorry, you cannot use this password; it is already used by admin.”

– Thomas “toscho” Scholz

Or force auto-incrementing passwords: password123, password124, password125 …

– Thomas “toscho” Scholz

Automattic Problemattic

– Adam “userabuser” Coslovich

Somtimes toscho just smashes his keyboard on the edge of his desk and gets a plugin.

– me

and because WordPress is not OOP we can’t stick our controllers into models. Thanks Matt.

– Kai “ungestaltbar” Jacobsen

yeah a hashish table, good idea

– Adam “userabuser” Coslovich / as answer to a “hash table” discussion

there should be a TV show where they take high profile PHP developers and show them page of WP code each episode

– Andrey “Rarst” Savchenko

damn he built it in Fadby on Fails

– Tom J. Nowell

always been the case, WordPress should just remove the “code is poetry” and instead say something like “people use us”

– Robert “Wyck” Ellison

It’s poetry on the Nyan Cat level.

– Thomas “toscho” Scholz

28_WEEKS_LATER 60 * 60 * 24 * 7 * 28

– Stephen Harris

My code is running fast because it is afraid of me.

– Thomas “toscho” Scholz

just look at is_front_page()… it could as well say return roll_dice()

– Andrey “Rarst” Savchenko

After we are done with real time web applications, the next trend will be no time web applications. Mark my word.

– Adam “userabuser” Coslovich

yup, exactly. security through stupidity

– Anu Gupta

I just use my own Great Personal License and tell people it’s GPL.

– Thomas “toscho” Scholz

You opened the functions.php of the Themeforest Theme, your client gave you to fix it. How do you feel? Angry? Annoyed? Fucked up?

– me

I have a life. It even has its own URL.

– Thomas “toscho” Scholz

WordPress is meh in a world full of “omg no, NO, GET AWAY FROM ME, OH DEAR GOD, MY EYES, THEY BURN!?!

– Tom J. Nowell

What’s the difference between PHP Output Buffers, and Napoleon’s invasion of Russia?

– Anu Gupta

Who needs CSS drop shadows? It’s a website, not a christmas tree.

– me

Hello, I have hundreds of 404. How do I paginate them?

– Thomas “toscho” Scholz

Sometimes when I can’t sleep I try counting sheep, but my ADHD is a !@#~$&^ nightmare. One sheep, two sheep, dog, pig, old McDonald, Hey Macarena!

– Scott “Brady” Carris

yeah, programming is not complicated. you just type limited set of letters and symbols in particular order.

– Andrey “Rarst” Savchenko

you shouldn’t use a hammer to wash your window, maybe you are using the wrong tool?

– Adam “userabuser” Coslovich

I am saying you are trying to teach cat bark… it’s weird and dog barks much better

– Andrey “Rarst” Savchenko

Actually, we should answer “please give us the name of your client. It’s easier if they explain us the problem and we can send an invoice directly to them”

– Jan Fabry

which do you think matters most to the performance of my house? A – An easy to see doorbell, B – An easy to press doorbell, C – A roof

– Tom J. Nowell

pff version control = copy and paste… thats it…

– Adam “userabuser” Coslovich

responseless web design

– Adam “userabuser” Coslovich

no fair i wasnt .ready()

– Scott “Brady” Carris

(I know it’s editing the core, but I am ready to do it everytime I update my installation)

– “geekpanth3r”

Btw: You get malware for free too

– me

Time, Price, Quality, you can choose only two out of the three.

– Brian Fegter

The one big missing thing in Git GUI is the console.

– Thomas “toscho” Scholz

Hmm, you sound like those project managers that think the hard work is done when the graphical design is finished

– Jan Fabry

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